Through Time
by Zeldalotr
Summary: I could bear it when he claimed it was just an infatuation. I could bear it when he said the kiss meant nothing. I knew that my heart would tear every time that happened, but he said it meant nothing. And I believed him. [Slash] [LegolasAragorn]


_**A:N// I am in a very one-shot mood today. M'kay, so I am actually just in a writing mood. But, yeah...I think I may have some people beta it for me and tell me what they think before I post it…I should. It would be the nice thing to do, wouldn't it?**_

_**Just something I randomly thought of. There is an Evanescence lyric, a The Used lyric, and a line from Edgar Allan Poe in here. If you can find them, you'd be my favorite person.**_

_**So this basically took a year and a half to write. But I am pretty proud of it. I pretty much love this story, no lie. It may be my favorite yet to date. But I am thinking of writing a Shink one-shot that I am sure will be faaaaantastic. We'll have to see where it goes though.**_

_**So, I hope that you all like it!

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_**Through Time

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I could bear it when he claimed it was just an infatuation. I could bear it when he said the kiss meant nothing. I knew that my heart would tear every time that happened, but he said it meant nothing. And I believed him.

Then he married her. He said it was just for show, he needed a queen. The public would never accept us, I knew that even. The King of Gondor could never be with the Prince of Mirkwood, it was an unethical love. Even had we not had our title and royalty, we were still both male. Something that had never been seen, though I'm sure if the idea were ever made public, it would be frowned upon.

I could have nearly anyone I wanted. I do not say that to boast, but I was aware of the lustful glances Boromir passed to me. Not to mention the closeness Haldir put between he and I. But I ignored them; I never acted upon them though I knew it would be all too easy. Aragorn was the one my heart was reserved for.

He of course had tried my patience more than on a few occasions. First, when I had caught him and Arwen kissing. Then, there were a few times that I had seen him and Boromir get closer than I would have liked. Yet, he always returned to me, said I was the only one he could ever truly love.

Yet, here he was, King Elessar with his Queen Arwen. It nearly killed me, literally. I had felt the light of my life seep away from me, and I had almost let it. What was my life without Aragorn? But I had to stay strong; there were other people who cared for me as well. As he kissed her, said his vows not even five hours ago, I swear I nearly died then.

Staring out my window now, I wonder if I am dead. Perhaps I should go with Haldir or one of the edan that lusted after me. I am sure to get a rise out of him then. His jealousy knows no bounds. On the way to Lorien, I was admiring an elven warrior. I will admit to doing that, but it was nothing more than a small glance. However, Aragorn made his jealousy known later on.

It was not the most pleasant lesson I had to learn. But I knew now that the easiest way to get to Aragorn was his jealousy. I did like playing off of it. Just teasing him slightly with it. If I did, he would always have to come back and claim me as his afterwards. Always make it known to me that I was his and his alone.

But that idea, which I had always found amusement in, seemed bleak and pointless now. I do not know if he understands, I could never love anyone else but him now. I was too far fallen for him. I suppose he could do nearly anything to me, and still I would return to him. Was that perhaps crossing the line? Was that too far gone?

A soft rap at my chamber door roused me from my thoughts quickly. I made no motion to answer it; I had my peace away from the world right now. Please, Vala, give me just moments more of this silent peace.

Unfortunately, the Valar were not on my side at the moment. Not only was my peace disturbed, it was disturbed by the one person whom I did not wish to see under any circumstances at the moment.

Aragorn slowly made his way closer to me, only two steps. It was as if he was terrified of me, as if I'd eat him or something akin to it. I only spared him one small glance before returning to my window.

He let out a soft breath, "Legolas, please, you understand this." He did not pose it as a question, which made me furious. How dare he presume that it was all laid out for me! He assumed just because he had the reason in his mind, it transferred to me. I saw the reason, but that does not mean I am fine with it. It does not mean I fully understand it at all. He just likes to assume me to be his faithful pet, always at his bidding. Always willing to take him back after what ever he may do wrong!

I had to take a deep breath to calm myself. It would not do well to be angry at my own thoughts. I knew I would always go back to him. But each time something akin to this happens, I know I should not. I should abandon him; make him see the pain he puts me through. I could never do that to my Aragorn though.

"Legolas...please." I glanced over at him, determined not to let anything show in my face besides apathy. He did not need to see the pain he put me through.

"Tonight is your first night as a husband, should you not return to your Queen, your Majesty?" I could see pain etch itself within his face. I know that I had hurt him, yet I knew not what else to do. I could not bear to hold a smile to him any longer. This time, its cut too deep.

"Legolas...please, stop this." His eyes were pleading, nearly begging. He wanted me to stop? He was the one to betray my love for him! And yet he wanted me to stop?!

I could keep my anger at bay no longer. "Stop? Stop! You want me to stop after I watched you kiss her? I saw the look in your eyes Aragorn! It's the look only I should be receiving!" I was so close to crying now, just breaking down. But I refused. He did not need to see that he could bring me to that level.

"It was just for show and you know it!"

"No! The wedding was supposed to be just for show. Everything else you wished for." I looked back out the window, watching the breeze pass through the trees. The water in the fountain rippled as children skipped rocks in it. It was a beautiful day, why did I have to lock myself in my room?

I could hear the heavier man's footsteps make their way over to me. I turned even farther away from him, so I could not see any of him any longer. He put his hand lightly on my shoulder, which I instantly shrugged off violently.

"Legolas. Stop. Now." His voice became harder, sterner. Again, it felt like he only thought of me as a pet, something you could beckon to answer you no matter what. Why had I never seen it before? He never truly cared for me at all; I was just a distraction from his future Queen. I was some fun on the long journey to Mordor.

My silence must have gotten to him, for I heard nothing for quite some time. But his silence was getting to me. I knew he was still there, I could sense his presence. I had to resist the urge to look at him multiple times. If he wishes to sit in silence, let him do so.

The sun had gone considerably down, and still he made no sound. He did not even move, that much I knew. It was driving me nearly mad. Finally I could resist the urge no longer; I turned to look at him.

I did not even fully make it around before his lips crushed against my own. His kiss was demanding and needy. He was bruising my lips as he bit tenderly at them. He brought his arms around my waist, trapping me where I was.

His broke the kiss, only to stare at me. His eyes were a smoldering grey; they were bright but hazy and unfocused. He brought his lips to mine again. But this time it was softer kiss. His lips molded against mine patiently waiting for an entry that I did not grant him.

He stopped suddenly and sighed. "Legolas, you know my heart is only yours." His eyes caught mine and made my breath stop. They were pleading with me. They were in pain, so utterly alone.

"I am married, but without love. I do not know what to tell you Legolas! I thought you would understand this." I turned away at this. I did understand it, as much as my mind would allow me to. But that never meant I was fine with it. "I am sorry. But it had to be done. Please…Legolas, do not abandon me." I froze at his words. He thought I would abandon him?

"You were the one going to abandon me, your majesty." Even I was shocked at the ice my voice held. I did not mean to be so cruel. I do not know where the hatred came from so quickly. I knew why he had to get married. Why was I still not accepting this?

He let his arms fall limp from my waist. He looked so close to tears that I myself nearly wished to cry out to him. Tell him I was sorry. But I found that my lips would not move, my vocal cords would make no sound.

He crumpled to his knees in front of me. I felt my eyes widen. I had never seen this man on his knees, for anything. Not even when he was mortally wounded would he fall. Did I affect this man so much? Was I truly the reason he fell to his knees?

"Legolas…" His voice faltered after that. He merely looked at me, eyes brimming with unshed tears. Have I truly brought this man that far down?

"Legolas, I need you. Please….please. I love you. Why can you not see that?"

"Aragorn, stop. This is ridiculous." He was scaring me. I did not want him to go to this level. I did not want to see how much this all affected him. It made me feel guilty, when I knew in the deep recesses of my mind; I had no reason to feel guilty.

"Do you truly think I don't love you Legolas? Are you so blind?" I could still not talk; I did feel a wash of shame fill me though. I had been brought to doubt Aragorn's love for me over jealousy. It was something I swore I would never become a victim of, jealousy. I had seen it in the worst of ways.

"Aragorn, you have to go back to Arwen. She'll get suspicious. Everyone will." Even though I hated saying it, it was the only thing I knew to say. All other words, thoughts, fled.

"No." His voice sounded with a resolve I had only heard in him during battle. He looked up, his gray eyes locking with mine momentarily. They held some unseen desire, one I was terrified of identifying. They also held a resolve. I knew, in that moment that he would not leave.

I can't deny the shivers that I got at the thought.

He stood with a deliberate slowness. My mind screamed at me to move, to show this man that even if he left me, I could deny him.

My mind screamed, but my body refused to comply.

He slowly reached his hand towards my face and then retracted it, as if terrified of my reaction. I made no motion towards the hand or away from it. He took it as an invitation and softly caressed the back of his hand against my cheek. Slowly, his hand moved down, he let his fingers eventually trace feather light against my neck. He smiled lightly as he left a light trail of goose bumps.

Hesitantly, he dropped his hand, only to encircle my waist and pull me closer. Again, I could not deny this man anything, let alone something that I myself want. I was pulled flush against his body, leaving no mistake that both he and I wanted the same thing.

His long forgotten fingers were soon replaced by air light kisses. I hated the man for this, he always teased me, always liked the fact that after a while, he could make me beg.

"Would you deny me tonight my elfling?" I felt my lips form into a soft pout as he began to bite lightly at my ears. I tried to push lightly against the man, not to exactly push him away from me, just to stop the torture he put me through.

He smiled softly against me ear. "You would," his breath danced lightly against my ear, causing shivers to arise within me, "deny what you want as well?"

I smiled softly at his tone. This was my Aragorn. This was the child I had fallen in love with all those years ago in Rivendell. This was the boy who would sneak away with me into the forest when we were younger to kiss me and tell me he would love me forever. This was the man who has occupied my every thought, the man who first took me as his own all those years ago.

This was my love.

I stared back into his light blue gray eyes; they were smoldering but mischievous as well. I forgot our fight, forgot the wedding, and even forgot the elven Princess.

"Come now Legolas, do not deny yourself this." His eyes sparkled slightly. His hand wrapped itself in my hair and began lightly playing with it.

I smiled; I could not help myself, I knew and played this game very well. "I would deny myself, only to deny you, my edan, the pleasure." This caused a small spark to flash within his eyes. What it was specifically, I could not tell you.

It meant only one thing for me, danger.

He suddenly wound the arm that was around my waist under my knees and picked me up. I struggled against his hold but he held me firmly.

"Now, Legolas, you were the one going to deny me." He laughed, at what, I don't know. "What else am I to do but take you by force?" My breath caught in my throat. Never before had he ever threatened to do this. Always he would coax me into it. I was not frightened by the news, I could only say excited.

He laid me against the bed, I attempted to escape. I did not actually wish to escape, merely wished for the chase. He grabbed me around the waist violently and tossed me back onto the bed. None of it hurt, he would never actually hurt me.

"Are you frightened my elfling?" His eyes sparkled silently as he held me strong. I tried to hold defiant, even though I secretly yearned for all of this to be over. I wished for the teasing and foreplay to stop, we had not made love in many moons.

"Frightened? Of you? My mere mortal? Never would I be frightened of you." Suddenly, he pushed me fully against the bed and crawled on top of me. His hands trapped me on either side of my chest, his weight preventing me from escaping at all.

My mere mortal, had trapped me.

His hand soon found its way under my tunic and he tenderly ran his thumb over my erect nipple. I attempted to arch my back against him but he held me down strong.

He laughed softly and brought his lips once again to my neck, this time, pausing slightly to suckle at my pulse point. Instantly, all strength I had left to fight against him left. This man knew all my weaknesses; it was getting aggravating how much power he could wield over me.

"You're fairly horrible at withholding your desires elfing. Perhaps you need a bit more," He moved his hand out from under my tunic and instead moved lower. He hooked his thumb in my waistband and it was obvious what his intent was. "To satiate you."

"Aragorn. Do not do this." I was panting and wishing for him to just take me, but if there was no fight, if I gave up, he would only make it that much worse.

He got up from his position on top of me. The warmth he gave off suddenly depleted and it was colder now than it had even been in my memories past.

I knew now why he had gotten up, my first assumption, which he was angry, proved untrue as I heard a light knock on the door. Aragorn looked in my direction frightfully and quickly motioned for me to hide. This was probably not the best of ideas, considering it was my room, he should have hidden instead. Even so, I dashed under the bed, holding my breath as if the person waiting outside could hear my already silent breathe.

"Yes?" Aragorn opened the door, anyone that would have known him as well as I did could have easily seen his nervousness. His hand gripped the door until his knuckles turned snow white and threatened to bleed, his shoulders were pushed back a bit, and not to mention his cheeks were still flushed from our encounter seconds ago.

"Aragorn, why are you in Legolas' room?" I glared from my position on the floor at the feminine voice at the door. Arwen had no right to invade my room, let alone question my love. Aragorn's shoulders tensed slightly, and the hand on the door faltered slightly. He was trying to come up with a story to tell Arwen, that much was apparent, but would he be successful?

"I….Well, Legolas left so quickly after the wedding…I wondered if he was faring well. But he is not here." I smiled; leave it to my edan to come up with a story in such little time. He was as cunning as wizard when given the chance to show it.

"Well my love," I almost scoffed at her calling him _hers. _"We have a dinner to attend to, I am sure Legolas is already there. The only people not currently there are the King and Queen. Would you be so kind to escort me, your majesty?" Aragorn faltered, his handing completely slipping from the door knob and his balance wavering only slightly, Arwen would not notice, she would not notice anything about Aragorn.

"I…will be there shortly, I swear it." Arwen face fell, but her eyes held their unyielding defiance. "Aragorn, it would not look right for the King and Queen to come separately. Please, for the sake of appearance and your name, come."

"I will, I swear, just give me a short while, Arwen." Arwen was about to protest, but was cut off by the sound of heavy footfalls she undoubtedly heard. A knight stood before them a few second later, bowing to both his King and Queen.

"My Lord, My Lady, your presence is requested at the dinner so that we may begin." Arwen's face lit up while I could tell Aragorn was crushed, though that did nothing for my own crushing heart. The knight began walking away, Arwen following behind him. Aragorn took one step before turning back around and mouthing the words 'I'm sorry' before leaving my sight completely. With that phrase, not even vocalized, my heard was crushed and my hope for ever getting my Aragorn back, went with it.

I slowly moved out from under the bed, too shaken to move any faster. I stood, the tears freely falling from my cheeks to dampen the floorboards, I closed and locked the door, not wanting anyone to this moment. I choked back a sob as I fell against the door, sliding down the oaken ridges that occasionally scratched me, though I did not feel the cuts. I placed my head in hands, feeling the cool tears run down my cheeks in a way they never before have.

I lost him.

I lost the one thing that I loved most in this world. With that simple phrase, he chose his fate, and his love. And it was not me. I was left here to cry on the floor, I was left here to pound the floor in frustration until my knuckles bled, I was left with nothing.

And suddenly, I felt colder than I ever have in my entire life. I felt as if the one thing that kept my body warm was torn from my body, leaving nothing more but a hole. A hole that would never be filled again, could never be filled again.

I must have sat there for hours, my tears staining my outer tunic horribly, though for some reason, I felt as if I didn't matter. I was never going to wear this tunic again. The soft knock on my door was the one that shocked me out of my depressive daze. I did not bother to stand and answer the knock, what was the point? What was the point of anything anymore?

"Legolas," Aragorn's soft voice met my ears, causing me to start crying again and the hole in me merely got bigger and so very empty. "Legolas, please, open this door." I choked back another sob, he had made his choice, why could he not just leave me be? "Legolas, I'm sorry. I tried, you saw that." I saw that, just like I saw all the other times. That hole grew bigger as I heard Aragorn unlock the door, but I did not move from my spot, I don't think I could even if I tried.

He slowly tried to open the door, but I blocked his entry. I could feel him looking at me, I did not see him since my gaze never wavered, it stayed on the window directly in front of me. "Legolas?" I didn't answer him; I waited for him to see my tear stained face that would be the only answer he would get. "Are you well?" I was…I wasn't anything….

I barely felt him pick me up, all I knew was that suddenly, for some reason, my sight was moving from the window to the wall, to Aragorn's chest. "Legolas, answer me, please. Love, please…."

I laughed, it was a bitter laugh and it even tore at my own heart, I had no idea what it did to Aragorn. "Love? That's not my name, Aragorn. It is Arwen's now, just don't."

"Legolas, that will always be your name. Do not think otherwise." He began to play with my hair lightly, though I would not know it if I did not see his hand move forward and back. I did not feel anything, not his cool hand wind itself in my hair, nor his warm chest at my side. I could feel nothing except the beat of my heart softly against the cage of my chest, much softer than it ever had in years past.

"Legolas, you know only you are my love. Please, say something….Anything…." I think I sighed, that's what I intended to do, but I did not hear nor feel it. I did not want to answer him, not the man who had left me at the one time I needed him most. And he knew, he knew that I needed him, and still, I was left alone on the floor.

As he had all those times before.

"Legolas….I love you. Believe that." I heard him swallow hard, and I could tell that his words were pained, but I could not feel the meaning behind them as I always had.

"Don't, Aragorn. You chose, and it was not me. Don't." That hole spread until even my sadness was gone, my anger, even the betrayal I felt before was absent. I am sure I did not look good either, Aragorn was shaking me slightly, crying out my name urgently, but it sounded so far away.

I closed my eyes, too exhausted to do anything else at this point. I listened to Aragorn still, though he still sounded so far away, "Legolas, Legolas! Speak to me, please. Legolas, I love you, please, don't leave me." Leave? Where was I going? I wasn't leaving. Was I? Was this what it felt like to die? Was my light completely lost?

I…was dying. This, oddly, among everything, made me feel something. I felt happy, well, not really happy, but I felt content. Then I felt a wave of fear wash over me, was I really feeling happy to leave this place? To leave the people who cared for me? To leave everything I knew and cherished.

I must have smiled, I can't say how I knew, but I knew that I had.

I am sorry to my friends, I am sorry to my family…I am even sorry to myself. Sorry that after all that I had been through with Aragorn, it had come down to this. Something that I had fooled myself with for so long.

Faintly I heard Aragorn say something, I couldn't make out what it was though. It was as if he and I were at opposite ends of a cave.

I allowed myself to slump back against Aragorn's once strong arms, allowing my final expression to fade into a soft smile, though that is the farthest emotion I think I should have felt.

"Legolas, I love you." And this time, the feeling was back in them, the arms around me tightened into a loving embrace, and I felt like running back when soft drops of water hit my cheeks from above.

But it was too late now, so I voiced the last words in my own head, hoping to reach Aragorn's mind.

_I'll love you, as I always have._

_And I'll wait for you, even in death.

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_**So there you have it! A piece of writing I am particularly proud of, so I hope that maybe some other people like it! Give me a reason to like it!**_

_**As always; read and review**_

_**-Mary**_


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